March 1, 2009

Hey everyone! Can you believe it?? March already! Only 6 more days till my baby turns seven. Seven. Where has the time gone? As she was jumping in the shower this morning, I told her that it was only a week until her birthday and of course, we started talking about how big she is and what she wants for her birthday and her party and all that stuff. I told her that she needed to stop growing because she was growing up too fast. She turned slowly with a thoughtful look on her face and said "don't worry mommy, I will ALWAYS be your baby!" How true that is. She may grow up, but she will always be my baby. Over the past seven years, she has changed so much but the one constant is that she has a wild, independent streak in her that at times makes me question why I EVER wanted to have children. I can safely say that NO ONE should ever have children after your first batch has almost grown. It was almost easier raising the three kids together than it has been having her so much later. She doesn't understand the age gap and seems to think that she should be able to do everything that they can do. Consequently, when she can't, she berates herself something horrible. None of the others did that. Chances were, if they couldn't do it, neither could there brother or sister. As much as I try not to compare--because that is what the books say NOT to do, they compare themselves. With the older kids, they seemed to find their niche according to what the siblings could or couldn't do. I mean, look at them. they each have excelled in something different. Andrew is musically talented--Rachael and Leah dallied in it, but nothing like Andrew. Rachael excels at the studies. The child cares deeply about her grades--Andrew and Leah just do what they need to do to get by. Leah is all about the sports. All I have to say there is-have you seen Andrew run?? And though Rachael loves volleyball, it is not allowed to interfere with her grades. There have been many a time I have looked over at her in the stands after her game and while all her friends are laughing and playing around, her nose is in a book studying for that test the next day. Don't get me wrong, I am glad they are all so different, it keeps me busy, but I LOVE it! But I think they are all so different because they had each other. They--without knowing it--each found a place for themselves in this chaos we call a family. Carving out a spot for themselves that no one else had. But what about Courtney? I often wonder if she will find something that SHE loves because she is to busy trying to beat her sisters at what THEY love. She seems to love everything. Art. School. Sports. Dance.cheerleading. Can one person DO all that?? More importantly, can one mother afford all that? One thing is for sure, I can't wait for the next seven years. I can't wait to watch as her little personality starts to really develop and she starts to learn who she really is. What type of person will she be? If I dare to guess, I bet she will be a bat carrying, ball kicking, art loving, dancing cheerleader with a broke mother who loves her more today than she did seven years ago. At least........that's what I am hoping for. Night.